This is often where we get it all wrong, finding someone to complete us. And this is where the problem lies because we often rely on another person to constantly fill that emotional void we should have worked on ourselves first.
When that brokenness in us is not healed yet, it manifests in our relationships. Most often, that leads to us being unhappy, unfulfilled, wanting more, and ending up in unhappy relationships.
We need to feel whole and complete in ourselves first. And having said that, we also need to say no to what won’t work for us and yes to what we genuinely want and is best for us.
Once we work on ourselves to be fully capable of standing on our own, have emotional mastery, and stop being needy, we attract the right person.
We often see that happening when we least expect it; the right one comes along.
In this episode, our guest, Brooke, shares that hiring a coach and investing in herself for her happiness and fulfillment is the best thing that ever happened to her.
Mindset, for her, is everything. You may not be perfect about it every day. But like her, who has gone through a divorce and emotional distress brought about by that event, it helps to feel empowered. That is, putting meaning into what happened instead of being victimized by it.
Once she finds herself in that situation, she only basks in her worthiness and gets to choose whom she wants, never worries about not finding a guy because she knows what she wants and will get it, which indeed she did, with her husband now.
“Work on yourself; you can only clean up your side of the street. You can’t fix or change anyone else.”
~ Brooke
What you will learn from this episode:
- 03:30 – How she reached a point and understood that her first marriage was not a failure
- 05:18 – Sharing about mindset work and how it has been so significant in her journey
- 07:03 – How she found her way and healed after the divorce: hiring a coach and doing healing modalities
- 10:30 – Inner healing and attracting the right relationship for you [not scared to invest in one’s happiness and satisfaction]
- 14:54 – The reason her other half got attracted to her: she felt complete and whole in herself
- 16:45 – The value she brought to the relationship and the need for emotional mastery to be not needy
- 20:08 – What dating was like with her now husband
- 25:11 – Making things happen: take decisive action
- 27:09 – You’re choosing him; he’s not choosing you [you just sit in your worthiness]
- 29:57 – Using the law of contrast to get clear on what you want
- 31:25 – Feeling complete and feeling the stability first in yourself and not project it to another person
- 32:14 – What it looks like if someone projects
- 35:01 – Talking about attachment styles and how it can vary in relationships
- 39:29 – Want to be with a king and not a prince because you work on yourself to be a queen
- 43:11 – Keeping the love alive
- 45:16 – What she wants to tell those who have dating challenges
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